4.3.15

#peoplepleaser

VIA
It's funny; my mind is so firmly made up --
until I hear what someone else has to say.

I crumble.
If they think this way, my feelings must be uneducated and stupid. Therefore, my opinion should not count and I better just shut up and pretend this never happened.

And I do.
But I get tired to succumbing to thoughts that aren't my own. I hate how I can easily agree with something so vehemently not me.

I stink at conveying a strong opinion when people strongly express their own. I'm terrible at voicing my own thoughts about the matter, because my survival instinct is to bite my tongue.
And I do.

9 comments:

  1. I'm the same way! It always makes me so mad! Thanks for sharing, Bethany. It's nice to know that I'm not the only one who feels that way. <3

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    1. @ Eve - ah, kindred spirit. ;) I'm glad you understand and I share my frustration with you!!

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  2. Aw, honey. :/ I struggle with this. A little less than you, but I still struggle with it. You are allowed to be honest and say, "I'm not sure what I think anymore. I'll get back to you when I think it through." or "I'm not sure, but I don't think I agree with that." Not knowing what to say doesn't mean you have to AGREE with them. I've found that when I'm absolutely stumped about what I believe or what to say, I just parry off attacked with honest, "I don't know. I'll think about it and get back to you."

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  3. Survival instinct?

    I don't think I have one of those... Is it important?

    If it is, you should probably hold onto it. I don't think you can buy that.

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    1. @ Tragedy101 - you are very proficient about voicing your thoughts, so I don't know if you would understand my reference to survival instinct. ;) However, my nature is to avoid conflict. That is usually a good thing, unless it is a conflict that needs to be addressed. I don't think anyone should compromise on their beliefs or lie about how they truly feel about a situation, just to make the other person happy.

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  4. ugh, wow! this is definitely me. i don't know how to overcome this. i want to be bold for Jesus, but also bold in the wacky, one-of-a-kind person He created me as. but i end up always holding my tongue or vaguely agree, because after all, who am i to suggest i know better than so-and-so? :/

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  5. I am the same! It's so difficult for me to speak up. I tend to flee from any sort of confrontation.

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  6. I think even people who can express their opinions strongly, like me, can still struggle with this confusion on what are their own opinions. It might look different; like when people assume I think the same way (I am NOT a fan of presumption) and act on it. We can still be controlled by people without being people-pleasers (trust me, I am NOT one) it just looks different. And of course as with everything, we will usually also meet people who have more of something whether it be will, talent, or opinions.

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  7. ME. it's an infp problem, I think. I usually like to stay "undecided" until I hear everyone out and then I find where I stand and usually that's somewhere in the middle . . . kinda pathetic but I'm workin' on it.

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