17.10.14

LEFT BEHIND | The sibling version

{ JUST LOOK at that grin. He still charms every single girl who ever saw him lifeguard. Although, I'm pretty sure he doesn't smile on duty. }
Watching my twin filling out an application that could-very-well-in-all-probability lead to the enlisting in the Army just about killed me. I'm proud of him and I'll be there for him (especially because everyone and their second cousin is mean about it) but the realization that my closest-telepathic-partner-in-crime could be gone after graduation completely slammed me off my feet. 
In my pathetic nostalgia, I also add that my earliest memory in life is eating yogurt with Christian on the green plastic picnic table with the pink benches. The one we all managed to cram into while Dad would make us Eggo waffles every morning. . .

My attempt to pack myself in my older sister's suitcase failed, too. I'm shocked (!!) to admit that I'm almost used to her absence at home. But then. Older sister's get married. A most probable fact, especially if they're in a serious relationship. I already know my eyes will just fall out from sorrow if I ever see her walk down the aisle. I'll probably end up at a nursing home prematurely from the shock. (Bailey - please remember that I'll have to be carted off in a wheel-chair after the ceremony - because my zeal to live will just be depleted)

And then my "little" sister (who's actually taller than me, but that's not surprising) just made things worse by turning fifteen. And my other "little" sister is going on thirteen in November. JUST STOP. Pretty soon Caroline will be graduating from college and by that time, Joshua will have become an Olympic swimmer.

Then there's my older-older-bro. Coming home and bringing along 'friends' (*ahem, cough, splutter, cough again*) who happen to be just drop-dead, gorgeously sweet. And although he moved out long ago, everytime he drives his big white truck down the driveway, I'm just like - DUDE, I remember when we would sit in your room and you'd swallow grapes WHOLE just to make me laugh. (uh, mom, you were not present.)

Oh, yeah. And then there's me, who leaves the house like twice a week. Maybe. I'll be the first sibling to stay home after high school.
Which is heart-breaking, because I dislike being the oldest, and it's just depressing because middle kids should never be thrust in that position.
Abandoned by their heartless siblings. 
Dramatic Sigh.

Soon, a glimpse of my older sibs will be just as rare as a visit from the President. If we're lucky, I might see them every fifth Thankgsiving when they grace our table for an hour before they have to save the world or go back to their families. THEIR FAMILIES?! Just no. Please. I can't handle it.
Or as Charlie Brown once said,
"GOOD GRIEF"
However, I think that the phrase, "impending grief" or "traumatic grief" or "how infinite is the day of grievous grieving" seems to be more fitting.

5 comments:

  1. I know what you mean. . .life is crazy. :(

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  2. Awww, Bethany.... I feel for you. :( MY siblings are growing up super fast as well; it seems like just yesterday we were all hanging out together, and now everyone is starting to move on with their own lives. :( So I'm right there with you, girl.

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  3. You hypocrite. You'll probably be engaged before I am. And if you're not, then, THANK GOODNESS, because I'm hiring you as my live-in cook and housekeeper and piano player. Because is life really worth living without having you nearby? Um, no.

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    Replies
    1. @ Bailey - em, I'll have to check my schedule. And if you like burnt chicken pot pie, then I think we might come to an agreement. . .no family discounts. ;)

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  4. My dear, dear children are growing up oh so fast. My head is spinning. Love you all!

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