1.4.13

daily dying

"Someday, I'll serve Christ and be the woman He wants me to be."

I can't tell you how many times I've unconsciously told myself that after I lose my temper, skip investing in prayer, lack of motivation, indulging in partial-sins, or justifying my wrongs. I pound that phrase in my journal, engrave it in my mind, and speak it to my friends when I tell them who I want to be...

Someday. Just Someday.

It only took fifteen years before I realized that "someday" never comes - you only live in the now. 
How often I put my trust and my excuse in "someday".

I was blinded by the thought that on that perfect "someday" a certain instance will happen - and I'll sudden have super Christian resolve to be that perfect Christian. To be accepted by God, accepted by others and to watch as all my problems suddenly vanish because of my strong spirituality. (see the self-focus? Because of ME...this will go away...)

Yeah, right.

Don't get me wrong - I've had wonderful times of prayer, bible reading and fellowship with God and I constantly long for that intimacy and that love relationship with Him. But just as long as I'm in this earth - it comes with daily dying.

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Not a once-in-my-lifetime resolve to live for God and watch all my fleshly problems do a 180 out of my life. But a daily-lifetime resolve to die each day, and dedicate each day to the Lord. He's the one I constantly have to lean on, constantly have to run to.

Because I have to face it - the 'someday' a few years from now, I'll still be the weak Christian that I am.

But I'll always have an amazing, awesome God.

1 comment:

  1. Wow. I needed this right now. This was beautiful, and so true :)

    ReplyDelete

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