14.6.12

boating techniques 101

Dreams of a beautiful summer morning were suddenly dashed as my brother bombarded me with the obvious question of fishing. My dreams weren't quite so dashed as I envisioned reading in the front of the boat while he fished, and maybe even a short dip afterwards. Our disappointment was grave when it was not only sunless, but rather chilly.

Unperturbed, we bravely marched to the garage to receive our transports, and then we went off on our fateful journey.

Needless to say, I've compiled this post together to ensure you, that on your next boating trip - it will be just as eventful and crazy as ours was. Enjoy.

Pinned Image
{source}
Transportation: Ideally, bikes with flat tires just won't cut it. If you also happen to be carrying a bag full of fish tackle, back that doubly ideally. All in all, your best chance for a leisurely ride down a windy road would probably be walking a car.

Step #1 (tip: this comes first): Never leave the boat pulley out for a full Wisconsin winter and spring. From our illustrious experience, it will resemble twisted metal covered in a beautiful film of rust. Breathtaking, really.

Look both ways before you cross: This includes in front of you. Otherwise, the various insects that inhabit the murky waters of your grandpa's boat dock might scare the bejeepers out of you. Falling into the water might be your first reaction, but it's not necessary.

Pinned Image
{source}
Bring a sweater. I don't care if it's fifty, eighty or ninety degrees. Always bring a sweater. After goosebumps reach a certain point, I'm almost positive your hair will fall off.

Pillows are great tag-a-longs: After watching your brother unsuccessfully fish, and if you only have one fishing pool - catching up on sleep is a given! After twenty hours of finding the perfect position, a pillow would be a great add for a great nap!


Bring Superman along: If you won't admit or your brother won't admit that you can't bring the anchor back up - might as well call for superman. If you value the skin on your hands, that is.

Fishing under bridges {dos and don'ts}: Do: tie the anchor securely. Don't: Look at the cracks on the concrete and think morbid thoughts. Do: Watch the array of cute birds and duck from time to time. Don't: Listen to the roar and thud of cars a few feet above your head.

When all else fails: Go swimming! From experience, we've found that you generally have a better time when you swim in warmer water. However, if you did pick the coldest swimming spot, bring swim shoes, because colder swimming holes tend to have rockier ground. And, always bring a towel!

Don't swim 150 yds upstream: This causes serious shaking of the knees, a gasping sound from the throat, and some people's abdominal muscles have been known to spasm on the ride back home. Your sense of balance will be ruined, so looking at the pretty fish while standing on the edge of the dock is not recommended.

6 comments:

  1. LOL! This post made my day. :]

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yay. :) Now, I hope you will take such lovely advice as food for thought. :D

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hahaha! I lovveedd the last paragraph! "this causes serious shaking of the knees, a gasping sound from the throat..." Loved this!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm not a fishing person myself, but this was really funny! I'll make sure to take your advice seriously.:D

    ReplyDelete
  5. How deep is it where you swim, dearie? You must be brave, if it's as deep as I think it is.

    Sounds like fishing is good for memory making. :D

    ReplyDelete
  6. T'wasn't very deep where we swam. Maybe a teensy bit over your head (until the drop off, of course)

    ReplyDelete

Considering commenting? Don't be shy - I'd love to hear from you!