13.1.17

Mommying IRL | Vlog!

So, it turns out that it is very hard to blog with one hand! I've got all the time in the world, but the thing is, my baby refuses to be left alone for more than five minutes (except on rare occasions, which I use for necessities like dishes and laundry.)

I did, however, chronicle a late morning on my phone a looonnnng time ago. I finally found a moment to throw it into a little video that sums up the last seven weeks. Unfortunately, it got cut short after Ella tumbled off the couch. We both were so traumatized that we just sat there and rocked for the rest of the day. It was horrible.
Enjoy!


14.12.16

Mommyhood | Don't Wake the Baby!

It took me three weeks to learn the secret for a sleepy Ella: womb noises. Today I have made coffee, ate breakfast, brushed my hair, actually picked out an outfit, and tidied up the house all while she sleeps soundly in bed next to my phone (which is turned up on full blast.)
It's truly a miracle.
I mean, six hours ago I was crying in bed because we were still awake and I realized it was 5:30am.

Babies are precious. All those baby doll days finally have come true for me! I've got this adorable munchkin who only wants me. I don't have to panic and find the mom to save this baby crying in my arms. ;) We have sleepovers, run errands together, and play under the Christmas tree lights together at midnight.

Unfortunately, mothering isn't very textbook. I think I've broken just about every single mommy no-no there is. We co-sleep because from day one she wouldn't sleep alone. We used pacifiers like day two. We canceled doctors appointments because baby and mom were tired. And I drink coffee.
Lots and lots of coffee.

By the way, this post is going to be very chaotic because I'm on a baby schedule. I may or may not proof-read this, so continue at your own risk. :)

Daddyhood | Aidan is still working full time and finishing school for this semester. It's hard to find the fine balance between being a mommy and being a wifey (although I think with newborn, the only option is to be 100% mommy 24/7.) We almost never have a real supper. Or lunch. Or breakfast. But he's pretty forgiving and still manages to cuddle a fussy baby so mommy can have ten minutes of alone time (devoted to showering baby spit up off.) But goodness. There is nothing so sweet as watching a guy interact with his daughter. Aidan always was on the sappy side, but put him next to Ella...it's adorable.

Ella a.k.a. Muffins a.k.a Snuffle Bug a.k.a. Lala | She loves to cuddle. I'm occasionally able to do some housework/feel pretty for a day if she's in the mood for a ride in the sling. Not gonna lie though, it really kills the shoulders! Also, how do babies fit in the womb? Just how. It can't be comfortable.

Breastfeeding | And no this won't get awkward. And yes, it's like how I spend most of my day and all of my night.
That's why Netflix is a thing.

This is Ella a few days old...

And now two weeks old! What a chub. :)

Well, my time is up as my babe has awoken.
Happy Tuesday everyone.
It is Tuesday, right?
Nope.
It's Wednesday.

*sigh*
Coffee.

3.12.16

Our Thanksgiving Pilgrim | Ella Kay

Thanksgiving Day dawns at 5:00am. Aidan has to work an early shift at the mall as the lone holiday security guard. . .and I'm crabby. He's crabby, too. This is the second time he hit snooze: 5:15.
I can't believe it's morning. Unfortunately, I have to drop him off at work so I can have the car to buy the ingredients I forgot to buy for my Thanksgiving side dish. Brilliant.
Ugh. But the bed is comfy and I'm exhausted from my night of no sleep. Thank you random tummy cramps. I really wanted to remember what being on my period felt like. Anything else I need to be enlightened about?

He's still asleep.
Sigh.
I mentally prepare myself for the challenge of getting out of bed at 40.5 weeks pregnant.

Annnnnd...I...manage...to sit up. 
With no fair warning, my bladder just dies.
Right there. In bed.
Hi, I'm Bethany. I'm nineteen and I just wet the bed. 
Just shoot me please, and give me coffee.

There's something bugging me about this. Like the fact that I literally used the bathroom right before the alarm went off. There was just no way that this -
"OH MY GOSH. AIDAN!! MY WATER JUST BROKE."

This was the only moment in the history of our marriage that made my husband shoot out of bed in a panic.
"Wait, are you sure?"
"Um. I don't know. Pretty sure?"
"What do you mean pretty sure?"
"Well," I get up to go grab a towel...and the floodgates open, "uh, yeah. Definitely sure."

In a matter of seconds, the lights are on, Aidan throws me a towel, and phones work telling them he won't be there. The nigh shift lady is forced to stay on his shift. I feel horrible, yet grateful. If he had gone to work before my water broke, he probably wouldn't have been able to find a replacement. Yikes.
I'm sitting on a bath towel realizing I'm actually in labor. Funny. It doesn't feel like I thought it would. My contractions are barely noticeable. At least my tummy was crampy all night for a good reason. Good to know.

I proceed to kill time by cleaning up the house, checking my bags, and eating some nauseating yogurt. My midwife won't call me back, and my contractions are getting real. My mom texts me that she's on her way (thank heavens!) and I'm running back and forth to the bathroom as my water keeps exploding every five minutes. I'm running out of sweatpants to change into...

Mom arrives while I'm in the bathroom sitting on towels and trying to stay positive (it's *not* working because I'm starting to freak out!) My biggest concern right now is that my water will leak on the car/me during our trip to the hospital.
Contraction. Just breathe.

They're coming every three-ish minutes, and mom suggests we leave...now.
Now.
Like. For-real-to-the-hospital-to-birth-a-baby-now.
Help.

We hold hands that car ride. My winter jacket doesn't even zip up over my belly. The car ride is mercifully short, and I've had more contractions than I should've in the 20 minutes it took to get there.

There is literally no one home. We're walking around the abandoned hospital, until we hit the lively nurses at the birthing center station. I receive a yucky hospital gown...with no back. ;)

Baby has a steady heartbeat that fills the room (which is comforting!) and the printer is busy printing off my contractions. Which is weird.

Time flies and I'm convinced labor is manageable. My contractions are definitely a little tricky to get through, but nothing I can't concentrate and defeat. The whirl pool bath tub wasn't as great as I thought it would be. And I'm still nervous about the lack of privacy going on. I'm in love with my husband, though. He wasn't as annoying as I thought he would be. He just sits there and holds my hand.

12:00pm: I'm starving. This cute little serving lady from the cafeteria brings up a ceasar salad, which I ordered with the full knowledge that salad is the absolute worst to throw up (I'm taking my chances.) Not like it matters anyway, because I can barely swallow a bite before the next contraction comes. My mom's conversation keeps getting cut short as I block everything out and start shakily counting to ten and willing my body not to fight the contractions. It sorta works.

The birthing ball? Eh. Not very impressive. Aidan gave a nice back rub though. Can I just pause everything and take a nap, please?

We take a walk down the deserted third floor...and things get hard.
Really hard.

I was not ready. But suddenly, my contractions are overlapping and coming less than a minute apart, and I have to stop Aidan every five steps. He holds me as I breathe. What would've been a short walk is taking us forever. We're on the home stretch when they're just out of control, and my mom says something about getting the nurse and just leaves us there.

By now, I'm bawling and I lose my concentration and just let my body fight the pain. It doesn't work - except to freak me out even more. My mom, the nurse, and Aidan manage to calm me down. . .and somehow I'm back in bed (which feels amazing!) and everything is getting spacey.

What is everyone talking about? The printer goes off as another contraction starts...and I'm not even going to try and describe my dread as the first hint of a cramp starts in the bottom of my tummy.

Yep. Still crying. The nurse is saying something about something, and I just want everything to stop so I keep nodding my head and saying, "okay" to everything. Just when I think they can't get worse - they do. Random people are in the room now, and the nurse checks my dilation which came to a lovely 7cm. Everyone is trying to be encouraging, but all I can think of is how 10cm-7cm=3cm that I don't have.

More contractions.
Vague recollections of snapping at Aidan not to touch me. Trying to count through the pain. Crying. Printer paper crinkling. Faint baby heartbeat. Voices telling me what a good job I'm doing (really!? THIS IS A GOOD JOB?!?) Me sobbing like a baby and not really caring anymore...about anything.

And we come to a 9cm, and my body was just done. P.s. There's a lot of blood!? I keep thinking about how wonderful it will be when I'm done and I can take a shower...and sleep! Please be almost done.

My body just takes over and lets me know that it's definitely time for this baby to come out. I'm relieved as the midwife is called, and the nurses that are going to care for the baby (THE BABY!) come in. By now, I have no second thoughts about privacy. In case you were curious as to THAT being an issue, just know that it totally isn't. I'm honestly not very aware of anyone else in the room, because I really feel like I'm dying (too late to discuss pain medication...)

"How long does pushing normally take?!" I ask the midwife. I don't even try to disguise my desperation. If she says more than an hour, I quit.

Well. What choice do I have but to work with what I have? Midwife finally gives the go ahead to push. And while it feels great to finally do something about my contractions (instead of just sitting there and dying), it still hurts.
Like a lot.
Labor is totally not exaggerated. All those screaming women in Hollywood? It's real.

Eventually, you just reach a point where you're done. And nothing will stop you from getting this baby out. There's babbling about what a "great push!" that was. EW. PLEASE. JUST TELL ME IF THE BABY IS COMING OUT BECAUSE THIS ISN'T DOING ANYTHING.

Then there's talk about hair. I can feel her head! Which, freakily, does not feel like a head at all. Unless it's the head of a jellyfish. Creepy. And ow.

And FINALLY, this babe I've carried for nine months shoots out an is plopped on my chest. Ella Kay, right here at my fingertips! She smells funny, there's blood all over my arm, and that white cheesy stuff all over her (and now me.) Nurses are rubbing her off. She's quiet for a few seconds, then lets out a good little scream. Me - I'm literally in shock - awkwardly shushing this tiny baby and it hasn't fully dawned on me that this is my baby.
Aidan and Ella having a *rare* moment of happiness without mommy
I turn to Aidan, who has tears just dripping down his face. What a sweetie. :) I think he said something, but I don't recall what it was. He kisses me on the head, and I'm completely happy clutching my tiny baby and holding his hand.

And to be honest, I don't remember very much after the fact.
I will say, my plunge into motherhood began the very moment after I gave birth. I changed two poopy diapers in a row (in the dark!), fed a baby all night long that refused to sleep in her bassinet, and learned how to get ready in a short window of baby time the next morning.

Speaking of babes. It's 1:20am in the morning, and I have to feed my little piglet who just woke up. :)
More on motherhood and baby picture spam later!