Stop Pining Away at Guys

Girl. I was homeschooled, I was in highschool, and I was pretty homely and shy.
All I needed to do was find the dude of my dreams, get hitched, and stay at home with my cute little ranch of babies.
(Trust me, after birth you'll never be so open to have less than two kids. Hah.)

Don't get me wrong. I *do not* regret getting married young. I *still* adore my husband even though MORNING BREATH is a thing, guys. I hands down love being a mom and staying at home. BUT.
(yes, but)
For all you sheltered, homeschool gals still waiting for Mr. Right:

As girls, marriage is exciting!! We will talk until 5am with our girlfriends about Prince Charming and our pinterest wedding board is to the dot perfect. But frankly, guys don't solve your problems.
I'm gonna say it again, in case your brain didn't quite get all that: guys don't solve your problems.
You probably haven't dated one because you are only going to date seriously with marriage on the horizon. Which is good. There is nothing stupider than dating, so if you're going to go through that emotional turmoil, hopefully it will end in marriage the first time around! But since you probably haven't dated, guys are probably on your list of, "Most Thought About Things This Week."

Do you have siblings? I have eight.
Marriage is kinda like have a sibling in the house.
Dating is kinda like loving this really nice dude who occasionally morphs into a really annoying sibling you punch in the face, and then marriage kinda morphs into a really annoying sibling you punch in the face who is occasionally a really nice dude. 

Now, of course, there's lots of fun PDA (and let's just be honest, because you probably haven't dated PDA is on your mind. Trust me, I was there), and there's nothing so great in life as living with your best friend and messing up life together while you try to adult.

But if you're lonely, move in with your best girlfriend and adult together by splitting rent or something. Be an entrepreneur. Travel the world. Write about world problems.
JUST SOMETHING besides pining away for your someday wedding.

Most girls get married. Your guy will come. It will be bliss and then it will be another chapter in life with ups and downs and crying in the shower. And I know (I KNOW!) how frustrating it is when people say, "Enjoy the single years," and dismiss all your hurt and disappointment about feeling left out without someone to love. That's human.
But seriously.
Enjoy the single years. And somewhere in there you'll accidentally bump into the right guy (who will probably look nothing like you imagined him to be.)

Moral of the post: don't chase after dudes and go do something productive.
Also, there's a lot of morons out there, so again: don't chase after dudes and always test sweet talk with fire.

Cheers. :)


And then there was a PIANO

This is alternatively entitled, "My Husband is Totes Awesome" or "How to Know If You've Married the Right Dude."

The day *almost* ended in a cat fight - me arguing that the newly arranged living room looked HORRIBLE, and Aidan insisting that the couch looked (I quote), "fine." 

The next thing I know, he comes back from "working out" with the owner of a local music store, the stupidest grin plastered all over BOTH their faces, and one heck of a piano packed in a huge box.

Since I'm frugal, never would I ever buy a brand new electric piano with weighted wooden keys, but since my husband is not...here it is sitting in our living room for me to annoy the neighbors with! It even included a thrown together classical piano book with most of my favs in there. Yays. :)

I haven't played it as much as I would like because of *ahem* certain children, but it makes me happy just knowing it's there for whenever I need to blow off some steam via Allegro Barbaro.
And this also means I can teach again.

I'm happy. My husband is awesome. Thank heavens I'm not in charge of finances. And the only sad part about all of this is we're moving soon and we'll have to take this apart all over again. *facepalm*


Why I Loved La La Land

Sometimes I wonder if mom depression is more common than most people make it out to be. Because never being alone 24/7 for weeks on end, never being able to sleep for more than an hour at a time, always staying home and doing the same things over and over again - HOW is that not a recipe for depression?

I love my baby. I love being a mommy. I'm pretty introverted, so yay for staying home! But sometimes I throw in the towel and sneak off to some quiet part of the house and just think of everything I *could* be doing if I wasn't a wife or a mom.

My Auntie-in-Love Juli took me out (without Ella!) to go see a $5 movie. I know that sounds horrible that I was excited to leave my baby for two hours, BUT I WAS. I hadn't had anything to eat all day except for the popcorn we shared, and I was pretty positive I was going to fall asleep in the movie theater because I was FINALLY in the dark without a baby who wanted to be held/nursed/rocked/nursed/cuddled/nursed/etc, etc, etc, etc, etc.

Guys. This post is not about the magical piano music that made me cry (YES. CRY.) although I could write about that for days if I so desired. In fact, I cannot wait until I can play this on the piano. *sorry not sorry* It was so beautiful. Stop. My. Beating. Heart.

SPOILERS: I sat through that whole movie so happy with the music, mesmerized by the cinematography, and dying over how cute the love story was...only to come to the end and what a KILL JOY.
In order to pursue their dreams (she's an actress, he's a jazz pianist), they separate only to meet up again five years later. He proceeds to play a song that tells the story of everything that *could* have been if they stayed together.
But nope. In the end she became an actress and married some ugly dude.

Depressing, am I right?

Besides putting a damper on the evening, this movie also made me think. I'm a dreamer at heart, and there's so many things I want to do or could do. Yet life is often just diapers, never-ending fatigue, and walking around the house in circles shushing a crabby baby. I could be creating something, or (haha) playing the piano, or TAKING A NAP, or just nonchalantly drinking in the sunshine cuddled next to my hubs. Instead, there's a mile high pile of spit up in my hair (yes, my hair!) and dang, I forgot to put out the meat for supper. Frozen pizza it is. And even if I have a fantastic idea, chances are it's impossible because we only have one car and I live over an hour away from civilization (which is funny, considering we live smack dab in a big city.)

I watched this girl have her dream come true. She was beautiful, rich, and talented. Yet she gave up so much that could've been just as wonderful. (Again, for a really ugly dude. WHY. Ugh. The feels.)

As we ran back to the car in the freezing cold, I kept thinking: what would I do without my little cuddle bug? What if I had gone off to college instead of marrying my sweetheart? What if we moved on so he could go be a police officer and I used my scholarship for a piano pedagogy? What if I was sharing a dorm with my best friend in college right now? Or still burning supper at home for mom and driving my bros to swim club?

Frankly, it positively freaked me out, and I rushed home to my husband and (surprisingly) happy baby, and we all snuggled on the couch and practiced our indian "war cries" for an hour (Ella can do it, too!) Ella was tucked in bed between Aidan and I, and we talked as the moonlight streamed through the blinds until we drifted off to dreamland.

I have to pick up the same toys today. I could barely make breakfast because Ella was upset this morning. A poop gone wrong resulted in an early morning bath.
But I don't think I'd have it any other way.
And I can *still* dream. But I'd rather dream with my baby and my husband alongside of me. And thank heavens he isn't ugly and boring. *sheepish grin* ♥

P.S. If you haven't seen La La Land, at least do yourself a favor by listening to the music!